The Demonologist
by Andrew Pyper
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Published March 5th 2013 by Simon & Schuster

Professor David Ullman’s expertise in the literature of the demonic—notably Milton’s Paradise Lost—has won him wide acclaim. But David is not a believer.

One afternoon he receives a visitor at his campus office, a strikingly thin woman who offers him an invitation: travel to Venice, Italy, witness a “phenomenon,” and offer his professional opinion, in return for an extravagant sum of money. Needing a fresh start, David accepts and heads to Italy with his beloved twelve-year-old daughter Tess.

What happens in Venice will send David on an unimaginable journey from skeptic to true believer, as he opens himself up to the possibility that demons really do exist. In a terrifying quest guided by symbols and riddles from the pages of Paradise Lost, David attempts to rescue his daughter from the Unnamed—a demonic entity that has chosen him as its messenger. –from Goodreads

The UK cover. Much prettier, non?

I want to clarify that though I gave this book 3 stars I didn’t like it. It was just written well enough that to rate it lower would have been spiteful.

David Ullman is a professor at Columbia University. He has a strong friendship with colleague and psychologist Elaine O’Brien, but is otherwise a solitary man. His marriage is ending, and his wife has been cheating on him with yet another Columbia prof. His relationship with his preteen daughter Tess is the best thing he’s got at the opening of the novel. Unfortunately, through a series of uncanny events that lead to an impromptu trip to Venice sponsored by a mysterious employer, Tess is taken from him. David is willing to do anything to get her back, up to and including striding into Hell.

Now, the first thing that must be said is that The Demonologist takes itself pretty seriously. It is written about a university professor of literature by what sounds like an academic, probably a university professor of literature — or a writer trying very hard to sound like one. Pyper gets points there.

The story has thrilling, introspective and scary moments. On two separate occasions I was chilled, though this is not saying much, I am easily scared. I can’t even read the Bible without getting freaked out. Unfortunately for me, quotes from Milton and Revelations make up a substantial amount of the dialogue, and are the fulcrums on which the plot turns. This is both positive, as it fits in the academic narrator framework, and negative, as the relation between the quotation-clues seems arbitrary, though the quotations themselves are familiar.

Despite that, in a way, it all does work. The basis of the supernatural element of this work is that maybe all of the stories of angels and demons and denizens of hell are true, and the mind is a space — the ultimate battleground for humanity. What separates the sane and good from the morally compromised and possessed is the belief. Once you’ve gotten this and suspended reality, you are taken on quite a ride. Pyper’s David Ullman totally pulls this off.

Unfortunately for my opinion of the book, and this review, this wasn’t enough to win me over. For a book that takes itself as seriously as The Demonologist does, the number of tired tropes motivating the narration are just lazy. A cuckolded academic chosen to be the cosmic harbinger of demonic existence? A damsel in distress, and not only that, but also a child-like Eurydice? (The Orpheus/Eurydice trope is referenced in the text, but STILL). A terminally ill woman who has nothing more important to her in her final weeks than to join a seemingly insane friend on a cross country wild goose chase?

The jacket of the ARC I was reading (won through a FirstReads giveaway) said the book is in development for a movie. Well, it did read a lot like a screenplay at times. Not in a bad way. It was what it was.

Altogether, I think this is a book most readers will enjoy. I can’t say it wasn’t an engrossing read. If you’re not nitpicky, and can stomach the description of women (albeit dead women) being beaten, and a general lack of character development for them, well, have at it. Just read it during the day.

p.s. Click here to see the spoilers I removed in the full review on Goodreads, if you’re into that.

So earlier today I blogged about not having any desire to read or review anything. Then I got this in the mail and everything changed.

 F*ck! I’m in My Twenties
by Emma Koenig
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I started following Emma Koenig’s Tumblr blog sometime in early 2012. She would sporadically post these incredibly funny, heart/gut/brain-wrenchingly astute hand-drawn comics about her life and I would like and reblog them and generally run around holding print outs and screaming, “Me, this is ME!” hoping people would have some kind of insight into my life.

When I heard she had a book coming out, I couldn’t have been happier, because a) I think her work is hilarious and b) clearly this is a windfall she needed (hope you took care of that mice prob, girl).

Even though I’ve seen many of the graphics in the book before, for free, on her tumblr, I bought the paperback and still got at least three solid belly laughs out of it. Which, when you’re in your fucking twenties, don’t come around as often as you need. And if you’re in your twenties you should probably read this book (or at least check out her blog).

I can’t wait to see what she does next, writing-wise, because I think she’s got a lot to offer. (Also she lives in LA, or did, and I never knew we could have been bffs bb, and ignored each other when we were too busy but been totally understanding about it because F Our Ls call me)

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Magic Bites
by Ilona Andrews
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

ISBN 0441014895 

When the magic is up, rogue mages cast their spells and monsters appear, while guns refuse to fire and cars fail to start. But then technology returns, and the magic recedes as unpredictably as it arose, leaving all kinds of paranormal problems in its wake.

Kate Daniels is a down-on-her-luck mercenary who makes her living cleaning up these magical problems. But when Kate’s guardian is murdered, her quest for justice draws her into a power struggle between two strong factions within Atlanta’s magic circles.

The Masters of the Dead, necromancers who can control vampires, and the Pack, a paramilitary clan of shapechangers, blame each other for a series of bizarre killings—and the death of Kate’s guardian may be part of the same mystery. Pressured by both sides to find the killer, Kate realizes she’s way out of her league—but she wouldn’t have it any other way…-from Goodreads

I waited too long to review this book, and now I don’t really remember enough of my first impression to give an objective review.

Kate Daniels is a mercenary-for-hire in a world where magic and technology vie for dominance in waves, kind of like large scale power outages (which do happen when the magic is on). Civilization, left reeling when buildings began collapsing and cars and airplanes became unreliable, has had to adapt to the resurgence of mystical, mythical forces in their world.

Interesting set-up, non? The world-building is pretty excellent. The concept takes a bit to warm up on you, but luckily this book has an excellent protagonist and otherwise solid characterization to keep you company while you adjust. Kate is a bit of a mysterious character at the outset, and there are details about her you don’t discover by the end of the book. Not so enigmatic that it drives you crazy, but just intriguing enough to make the details stick in your head.

There are few weaknesses about this book, and if I’d reviewed it right away I may not have mentioned them at all, the first being that nearly every male character in this book is described as somewhat attractive. The mind reels. It’s not a romance novel, and it’s not trying not to be either. Nearly every single one of these attractive men propositions Kate at some point. She turns them all down, naturally, because trope. It sounds unkind, but you want to think that this protagonist is different from all of the other self-sufficient women protagonists who are super hot and extra caustic. She is and she isn’t. Unfortunately you don’t find out until later books why she ISN’T quite as unreasonably chaste and trope-y as she comes off. So in this context, the romances are a bit silly.

Fortunately, this book has something very few others do, aside from well executed writing from multiple authors. It has legitimately funny moments. I’ve mentioned before how difficult it is for me to read really joke-y books, because either the humor doesn’t lift off the page or because it just doesn’t ring true with me specifically. I’m weird. But Magic Bites DID make me laugh. More than once, less than five times. The acerbic wit Kate spouts is spot on. The punch lines are punchy. I can’t even believe I am saying it. I NEVER say this. But it was.
Kate:

Sickle claws shot from the tips of his stubby fingers. He spread his fingers in a catlike kneading motion, scraping the wooden surface of the table. “Oh boy,” I said. “How do you fluff your pillows at night?”

And later, a conversation between Kate and The Beast Lord, Curran:

“What happened to the alpha-wolf?”
“LEGOs.”
“Legos?” It sounded Greek but I couldn’t recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn’t it an island?
“He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle. He’ll be out of commission for two weeks.” Curran shook his head. “He picked a hell of a time. If I didn’t need him I’d kill him.”

I dimly recall chortling for several seconds over that one. There are other, funnier moments in subsequent books, these are just the ones I remembered to highlight here.

The final thing I really liked about Kate Daniels as a protagonist and the reality of this fictional world, was how realistically and humanly Kate and other characters reacted to things. If she was in danger, Kate was afraid. REALLY afraid. Not paralysed, but decently fearful. Monsters were monstrous – the vampires, for example, are horrifying in this universe. No Edward Cullens here. If someone got hurt (and didn’t have super regeneration powers) they didn’t miraculously push through it (though I suppose this is debatable. I tend to pass out from shock if I so much as sprain an ankle).

All in all this was a GREAT book and it opens a GREAT series. I eagerly await the latest.

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First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Published February 1st 2011 by St. Martin’s Press

A smashing, award-winning debut novel that introduces Charley Davidson: part-time private investigator and full-time Grim Reaper Charley sees dead people. That’s right, she sees dead people. And it’s her job to convince them to “go into the light.” But when these very dead people have died under less than ideal circumstances (i.e. murder), sometimes they want Charley to bring the bad guys to justice. Complicating matters are the intensely hot dreams she’s been having about an Entity who has been following her all her life…and it turns out he might not be dead after all. In fact, he might be something else entirely. –from Goodreads

I chose this book because its average rating is pretty high, despite the very chick lit cover. Also I have been very into ghosts and necromancers lately. (This was one of my I-need-Alex-Craft-but-can’t-have-her-til-August options)

One chapter in, I didn’t think I was going to finish it. Three chapters in I figured I had come too far to go back. The reason this book and I didn’t hit it off right away is two-fold. First, the protagonist, Charley Davidson’s narration was like the reading equivalent of having a conversation with your comedian friend who doesn’t ever shut up. The incessant stream of campy jokes didn’t work. It’s rare that “witty” book banter works for me. Probably because it is exactly my brand of senseless humor and I can only handle myself in small doses. When it permeates the book, well…

The second reason I can’t say I liked the book is how the private investigation/case aspect of the plot was executed. I was never sure what was going on, it was consistently pushed to the background and played second fiddle to the romance, but would be pulled back so suddenly I got eye-whiplash. Every time a character was mentioned I had to look up who it was because I couldn’t remember. This could be partially my fault, because I didn’t much care about any of the characters, but the fact that they were all pretty one dimensional with common Anglo names didn’t help.

I did like how complete Charley seemed to be as a character. She had backstory & interesting relationships with her ex cop dad and currently-a-cop uncle. There was a lack of dimension to her relationships with other characters, especially the main romance guy person, but her defenses in regard to how people treated her talents was realistic, which was nice. EDIT: Now that I think about it though, Charley’s relationship with Reyes begins with a very brief moment when she is in high school and he threatens to rape her. I think I just blocked that out until I was reminded reading other reviews. Da fuq.

Overall I disliked more things about the book than I liked. Which is unfortunate, because normally I’d like any gal who calls her breasts Danger and Will Robinson. I have the second book but I doubt I’ll read it.

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Dead Man Rising by Lilith Saintcrow
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I’m sure if I’d been having a better day I would be darkly amused by the glossary at the end of this book. The glossary which should have been at the end of the first book and also integrated into the story. But whatever.

I think what sets my teeth on edge so much about this series is how fundamentally damaged Dante Valentine is/is supposed to be, yet she doesn’t function like the fundamentally damaged, per se. I’m no expert and everyone is different, but there seem to be a good deal of psychological missteps here. Paired with unreliable narration, stingy exposition, and unusual pacing, I can’t love these books. I am not even sure if I can like them. Yet I seem to keep reading them?

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Hold Me Closer, Necromancer by Lish McBride
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Definitely not what I expected. I would recommend this to YA readers, specifically YA aged readers, with a specific sense of humor. Maybe fans of Christopher Moore, but this book is far more lighthearted than that. Lots of inane banter, which I would be into if it didn’t sound like a neutered preteen version of Buffy-banter.

Maybe coming off of much darker more romancey necromancer stuff made this quick read less enjoyable. I don’t know. I got a kick out of the titles of the chapters, but probably I came in with Expectations. I don’t remember laughing at all, but then, most dialogue banter leaves me cold. The only writer of this genre I think can really amuse me the way McBride may have been aiming for is Sarah Rees Brennan. I am a joyless harridan but what are you gonna do?

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Working for the Devil by Lilith Saintcrow
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Okay, the long and short of it is that up until the last probably twenty pages I disliked this book, to a degree. No. Not true. I loathed it. Fiercely. The character development was not going very well and I was annoyed at how opaque the world-building and backstory were.

At 9% I was like “Ugh hope this gets better.” At 40% I was like “WHY WON’T SHE EXPLAIN ANYTHING OR LIKE, BE NICE TO HER FRIENDS?????” and now, at 69% I am just ultra baffled at why anyone would say this book is paced well and isn’t harboring a grudge against the editor that could have made it SO SO GOOD with very few well chosen suggestions. I will never again criticize info dumps. I will cherish them.

But then love story and glorious action. Stakes high enough. Realistic consequences. Tragedy.

This book still had a lot of flaws, but I was won over at the last minute. I guess all it takes to book-seduce me is to write me an unlikely romance and then kill off my favorite character. I have issues.

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The House on Tradd Street by Karen White
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I am not really big on mystery novels. This is not to say I can’t enjoy a good mystery in a novel. I just cannot handle it when the entire plot of a novel revolves around not knowing a bunch of very important things. I also loathe really obvious foreshadowing and poorly dealt out clues. Of course, these things can all be present in non -genre novels too. What was I saying? Oh yeah, this book had a lot of issues, but I liked it. I’m a huge sucker for the Southern small town secretsy society old buildings charming culturey setting. Like, big time. Even though I would probably hate living in any of these places.

Despite the Southern charm; this book is rife with plot holes and grammatical issues that an editor shouldn’t have missed. The protagonist, Melanie Middleton, is not sympathetic. She is a prickly bitch who has a number of really good friends for no discernible reason. She is 39 and clearly has severe Obsessive Compulsive issues as a result of childhood trauma, but doesn’t seek professional help despite being accurately diagnosed by multiple people in her life. I actually respected that she didn’t own casual clothing. But the way she kept fobbing the dog off on other people was the kiss of death for her in my eyes. The fact that I am interested in reading the sequel defies as much logic as she does but whatever I do what I want.

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